Mean Girls

Warning: There is some profanity in this post.

When I was a young girl, probably about 12 years old, I had my first interaction with human cruelty.  A friend of mine called me on the phone and after chatting for a few minutes about whatever it is that 12 year old girls talk about, she asked me what I thought about a mutual friend of ours.  I asked why and her response was that she was angry at our friend and she could be a “bitch sometimes”.  I agreed and even said, “Yes, she can be a bitch”.  It was then our “bitch” friend, who, unbeknownst to me, was listening on another line, chimed in and called me out for talking trash about her. 

Initially I was totally confused and hurt by this little game of deception and entrapment. Even though I didn’t actually think my friend was a bitch, my reaction was to agree and participate in the friend bashing, so really my behavior was no better than that of my friends’.  It goes to show that from an early age we begin testing our abilities in the arts of manipulation and shadiness. 

There is camaraderie in sharing those judgments and angers about others.  It’s that first moment in a conversation, when someone else is mentioned, and you lean in, and conspiratorially whisper in hushed tones about that person, your heart beat quickens and your mind races to contribute those juicy little tidbits you’ve stored away for just this occasion and BAM!  You’re an asshole, talking shit about your friends and acquaintances.  I realized this happened a lot more than I would have thought in the past 10 days.  And almost every time my base reaction was to jump right into it.  Since I was in the midst of my “karma cleanse”, I refrained from saying anything negative, and actively tried to speak only positive things about the subjects of conversations.  I found this helped to nudge the others participating in the conversations to turn their comments to positive ones as well

It’s actually quite easy to say positive things about people and defend their actions. Just put yourself in their position and you’ll see that most people are just doing the best they can.  And I don’t want to give the impression that I spent all my time prior to the past 10 days ruthlessly bashing people.  But I am guilty of participating in some situations.    I realize that if I have been doing it, what are people saying about me?  Truthfully, I don’t want to know, and I hope I never do. (I live in a bubble where everyone loves me and thinks I’m FANTASTIC!) 

So if my fantasy bubble is ever to become a reality, I’ll keep practicing positivity.  With a few exceptions - I plan on talking shit about those two bitches that set me up when I was 12 every chance I get.