Sabotage.

Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.

~Khalil Gibran

Faith and Sabotage. That's what's been on my mind lately.

Why do we make the choice to do something at the last minute; even though we know it is just going to cause us stress, inner criticism and the desire to take it out on others?

sabotage.

Why do we make the choice to eat like a billy goat, knowing that the version of ourselves that is full of resolve, and good decisions would TOTALLY disapprove of that ice cream / cookie / brownie / pizza / burger decision?

sabotage.

Why do we make the choice to focus on thoughts of negativity and despair, insisting that our will be done, on our time, with all the players behaving as we wish them to; even though we know peace is found in surrender and detachment?

sabotage.

I think it happens in the choosing.
The choice is where we interact with faith, and sabotage.

Awareness helps. We can catch ourselves and retract our hand from the self destruct button.
Beefing up your faith reserves seems to be a wise decision too.
Lastly, knowing what drives your own sabotage is useful.  For example, my personal favorite sabotage chauffeur is control.

However, sometimes that information is useless.
We are aware but we watch ourselves do it anyway.
Faith can be elusive sometimes, we question, we wonder, we examine things logically.
Sometimes, it just feels good to make a bad choice, because we can.

In those moments, I guess it is best to not be too hard on ourselves for choosing the carb paved road to Instantgratificationville.

My friends, sometimes taking care of yourself is HARD.
Today, I hope I can meet faith as a friend, and let sabotage wait outside.