Knock Knock.

Sharing a laugh is awesome.
I respect a person who can remember and deliver a punchline.
When I hear a good joke, I squint my eyes together, knock on wood, wish on a star, click my heels together, and employ all manner of mneumonic devices to commit it to memory.
Unfortunately for me, my mind seems to have a small parking lot reserved for jokes; in my whole life, there are only three jokes that I have been able to remember.
Unfortunately for the recipients of my good joke intentions, only one of these are even acceptable for public consumption.
I learned it from a first grader. 
The other two don't say much about me as an individual. 
I tell them anyway.

Thanks to a very youthful friend of mine, and her entertaining Christmas gift, I have compiled this short collection.  This is for the people in my life who have sat through my "three deep stand up routine", laughing more at the uncomfortable silence than the punchline. It is also for those who appreciate that you can cringe and laugh at the same time.
Warning: This may not be for you

**For cannibals, what's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
                           The wheelchair.
**What kind of cigarrettes do Hippies smoke?
                           Yours.
**What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile?
                         "Get into the Batmobile, Robin."
**Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners"
                           Because they have no attachments.
**What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
                           Christopher Walken.
**A man and a woman were standing in line at the supermarket checkout. The woman's basket had one can of soup, one apple, one pear, one chocolate bar, and one mini tub of ice cream.  The man leaned over and said, "You're single, aren't you?"
"How can you tell?" the woman asked.
The man answered, "because you're ugly as fuck."