Bah Luvbug.

So, here it is. My least favorite day of the year. yup. that's right, I am going to complain about Valentine's Day. Feel free to skip this diatribe. It promises to be bitter.

I have two stories for you. They are both stories of unnecessary disappointment. Sit back and relax kiddos and let Bitter Betty tell you why she doesn't like Valentine's Day.  (Thankfully she only wants to visit and tell this story once a year!)

Tale number one: How it went when I was a kid.

      I am 8. (7,9,10) I spend half an hour in the store deciding which box of Valentine's to get. I settle on Care Bears.  I come home and carefully tear the Valentine's apart, separating them into neat piles. Filling out first the "Hooray, Hooray, It's Valentine's Day" cards for the kids who were mean, or smelled bad.  Savoring the moment when I would dedicate the "You make my heart happy" card to my future husband. The remaining cards were then split between my buddies. 
Once at the party I tore through my own bag of mandatory cards...searching for the one from my crush, knowing I would be reading it many times that day.  As I opened that, never sealed no matter how much you licked it, envelope, I would close my eyes and hope for the card that referenced our deep "Transforming" love for each other, but usually it was the penguin who says "You're Cool".

Tale #2: The four kinds of Valentine's revelers.
 
1.  The person in the "happy relationship". The person in the "happy relationship" has hyped this day up so much, they couldn't possibly be satisfied.  If this person happens to be satisfied THIS year, next year will probably disappoint.
2.  The person who is miserably single. I really don't need to explain this person to you.  Even the happiest of singles do not enjoy Valentine's Day. Which leads me to #3.
3.  The person who tries to "take back the holiday!" and make it about love in general. Listen, I have tried to be this person, but I never forgot what Hallmark wants it to be about. They had me at Care Bear. Therefore, this person is either: #2, who feels bad, understands that they shouldn't, and tries to fight it.
OR #1, who feels bad for you, because you are single, and should be pitied on this day.
4.  The exceptions to the rule.  Yeah, if you got pissed during the previous three, this is probably you.  Sorry. I am glad you had a wonderful day!