Sierra vs. The Lobster
Round 1: At the Supermarket
Sierra: BIG talker prior to arrival at the Supermarket. "Shiiit...I'm part 'east coast' by birth...We need to enjoy things we can't have in the west...I'm down....Let's have a lobster dinner..."
Lobster: Just survived a giant tank spill thereby experiencing confusion and chaos.
Sierra: Looks at FULL blooded east coast mom and fearless brother. Looks at lobsters roaming the tanks. Begins to regret earlier rash words. "Perhaps we should get some of this pre-cut, no longer looks like what it was, salmon?"
Lobster: Gets shoved in a plastic bag, along with three of his mates.
Round 2: In the Car
Sierra: Can't touch the bag with lobsters. Begins imagining them crawling all over each other, gasping in waterless plastic bags.
Lobster: Bounces around in the backseat. Gasps in waterless plastic bag.
Round 3: Preparation
Sierra: Can't go in the kitchen. Imagines lobster grasping at the sides of the pot...screaming in agony. Starts googling Lobsters. Turns out they cannot feel pain, and die within ten seconds. Begins counting to ten. It takes forever.
Lobster: Dies at the hands of Denise "100% East Coast"
Sierra: Begins to lose appetite.
Round 4: The Meal
Sierra: Approaches the beast warily. Starts with the claws. Delicately. The other lobsters being devoured in a buttery frenzy. Then. Somewhere amid shell shrapnel, eyeballs, antennas and watery guts...the bloodlust sets in.
Lobster: Is delicious...
Sierra,
ReplyDeleteI always let Pat follow the steps since he is from the Chesapeake Bay. However we have had similar but successfully delicious experiments with Maryland Blue Crab and San Francisco Dungeness crab, but of course you would go with lobster first! Yum!!
-Wil
there is totally a process...and it. is. rugged. damn. it is rugged.
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