Apocalypse Now.




I want to preface with. " I don't REALLY think the world is going to end on Dec. 21st."

But, I suddenly find that it is December.(?!?!) And, well. What if? There is no denying that the possibility crosses the mind. As does the possibility of being struck by a falling anvil, or winning the lottery. I picture myself as one of millions of people that wake up(?)  that day and say, "Well, shit. Ain't that a bitch?" with the sad and deep irony of ... well, someone in exactly that situation.

Perhaps it's worth using the fallacy of an apocalypse to evaluate my life. Generate a wish list. Look at what I can cram into my 21 days. Perhaps I can spend a little more of my month focused on the present, and enjoying the here and now of this beautiful gift that is my life.

Some of these are my favorite things. And some of these are my favorite dreams.

1. Go to Europe. Stay in a castle.
2. Hug.
3. Laugh until my stomach hurts.
4. Watch the first season of The Walking Dead.
5. Go to the Grand Canyon.
6. Eat lemon squares.
7. Love.
8. Share with friends, family, and everyone in between.
9. Go to the opera.
10. Snuggle.
11. Learn tricks on aerial fabric.
12. Frolic in the rain.
13. Play in the snow.
14. Fall asleep in the sunshine.
15. Ride a train across Canada.
16. Get my masters' degree.
17. Tell some really good jokes.
18. Enjoy a perfect cup of coffee.
19.  Eat at Tommy's Thai.
20.  Fix my tattoo/get another.
21. See one of my former students become famous for something.
22. Meet Jon Stewart.
23. Lose ten pounds.
24. Kiss under a blanket of stars.
25. Write a book.
26.  Love.
27. Be touched by a miracle.
28. Soak at Ojo.
29. Read.
30. Dance to live music.

Buyer's Remorse.

 

 

This is Emily Compton, a recurring guest contributer to "I'm Rambling." Emily has been a friend of mine since the fourth grade. Her unpublished works, such as the "Igor Gogel Giggleheimer Schmidt" series, are as yet, undiscovered classics. Stay tuned for more from this amazing author.

 

 

 

 

Buyer’s Remorse

Ahhhh, the holidays. The happiest time of the year. When people give thanks for their families, friends and blessings. And when we go shopping to show how much we love one another. Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday & Tuesday were all created by the media and businesses for us consumers to go out and buy, buy, buy.

 

I get the implications of these shopping days on our economy. I did buy a pair of pants for myself from a locally owned clothing shop on Saturday. I spent more on these pair of pants than I will probably spend on my children’s Christmas gifts. I did need a new pair of pants, I did not need the pants I bought. They are black, tight & shiny and look fantastic on. They are still in the bag sitting on my dresser. When will I wear these pants? I don’t think they are appropriate for a construction site, so I won’t be wearing them to work. My upcoming weekends will be spent at hockey games and the ski valley, so I won’t be wearing them then. I can’t remember the last time the hubby and I went out for a date night, (we’re terribly broke and going out is an expense we can’t afford). But I can afford an incredibly expensive pair of pants……

 

These big ticket items are always so enticing when they’re on the rack, but a little nerve racking when you get them home. I bought a new car in June, and while I totally needed a new car, once I got it home I freaked out a bit. My previous car was paid off, and 5 months later I’m still trying to adjust to the monthly payment. And I wisely dropped almost half of my car payment on new pants.

 

And I want more - I want expensive jewelry, which I will probably never wear – I already have lots of jewelry that sits in a box, the only jewelry I ever wear are my wedding rings & watch. I want new skis – I already have two beautiful like new pairs of skis (these I would use). I want to travel – specifically I want to go to the Jazz Fest in New Orleans next April, but if we do travel, we should go to New Jersey to visit Corey’s family. NEW BOOTS! I have six pairs of boots, but I love, love, love boots.

 

Every year at this time I start to think about us as consumers. We need, want, have to have so much, but do we really? The media plays all this up so well, we are forced to believe that we can lead a lifestyle our incomes can’t sustain. The term “champagne taste on a beer budget” totally applies to my life and to lives of many of the people I know. Our real needs are the simple things – we all know this. A roof over our heads, our dear friends and families, yet we still feel like we need all the extra “stuff”.

 

So I think tomorrow I will wear a bunch of jewelry and my new shiny black pants to work. I think I’ll also wear a pair of boots.

fuck you Fear.

I woke up today and I said "fuck you Fear"

fear of the future, fear of the present,
fear of what's happened, fear of what hasn't.
Get out of my head! Get out of my heart!
There is no role for you to play the part!

I looked into the hearts that I saw in my day.
your sickly touch affected them all in some way.
fear of their worth, fear of their stature,
fear of their parents, and fear of the here after.

fear of zombies and fear of pain,
fear of drought and fear of rain.
fear of mistakes,
fear of heartaches,
fear of failure, fear of success
fear of too little, fear of excess...

wait. stop. You almost sucked me in.
well played, Fear, but you will never win.
Taking care of yourself is hard sometimes.
When Fear takes advantage and plants land mines.

But I can bring joy, and I can bring peace,
I can help the best and feed the least.
I will be back tomorrow and every day after
because fear cannot conquer love and laughter.

I woke up today and I said,  "fuck you Fear".
(Insert battle cry here.)

The best thing about.



Any study on happiness and success will show you that gratitude is one of the, if not THE, most important things to experience and express.  In this day and age, there is no doubt that teachers are responsible for helping to create highly functioning, happy adults. As such, I have been focusing on gratitude this month.  Yesterday's activity was as follows. Students had to complete the sentence "The best thing about ____ is ____"  for 34 random things.
I enjoy activities like this, because it gives my analytical mind an opportunity to make quantifiable observations about other people. For example, the most commonly skipped question was "The best thing about my body is ___"  Saddening and reminding me that a true love of self and body takes specific attention. (note to self: spend some time talking about self-worth and how we create body images) 
There were many wonderful, encouraging answers. Such as "The best thing about right now is we are all talking about good things in life." OR "The best thing about this school is it is the beginning of a good life."  OR my personal favorites "The best thing about this classroom is it is the best in the school...the energy...a place of sanctuary...the teacher..."
BUT let's face it. We don't really want to read a bunch of excellent answers. We want to read the funny ones. 

Here is a compilation of the ones that made me chuckle...

...my neighborhood..."I run it"  hahaa. whatever.

 

...kleenex..."can really be a lifesaver"...who hasn't been there? snot about to drip down; bats in the cave...thank you kleenex!

 

...kleenex..."It's not toilet paper"...SO true...toilet paper that is too rough, or only one ply! no THANK YOU!

 

...cars..."A perfect place to perform songs to myself"...YUP! Love a car concert!

 

...my brain..."it has a giant capacity, more than most people think." ...hmmm. maybe.

 

...paper clips..."they make papers feel official."...as opposed to staples, or that complex bend/tear/bend crap which feel so...casual?

 

...dogs..."they don't care where they use the bathroom."...now I know where all those random wet spots around campus are coming from...hmmm...

 

...boys... "we stand when we pee."...sometimes I am quite jealous of this fact...ie. camping.

 

...right now..."I just made a funny joke."...one of the best feelings EVER!

 

...this classroom..."I can see all of humanities mistakes."...hopefully he meant reflected in history, not in the people who are present.

 

...girls..."they cook"...quite the charmer. way to dig deep on that one.

 

...my name..."everyone knows it"...nope. It's not Norm.

 

To the following I simply reply..."Agreed"

 

...movies..."Clint Eastwood"

 

...this town..."fiestas"

 

...birds..."They fry up real nice"

 

AND my personal favorite...

...the shopping mall...the ample supply of zombie protection supplies"

Changing of the Guard.

 

 

"...The life of a man is a circle from childhood to childhood, and so it is in everything where power moves."  Black Elk

I am faced today with feeling "my age".  You know "feeling" 35 in the way that I used to "imagine" 35.  Usually, I'm pretty sure that I am still 25.  I think the introspection is because I have a birthday coming up. While I love having a day that I can claim is all about me, birthdays now also give me a slight sense of dread.

Aging is awesome because it brings the wisdom, clarity and confidence acquired ONLY by time.  Conversely, it is also a landscape filled with new, and often depressing discoveries. Hangovers last for days, people call you "ma'am", parts of your body crack.  I have even started saying and BELIEVING things I swore I never would. "You will understand when you are older", "Punishing you hurts me more than it hurts you" and the kicker "You need to care about (recycling/ poverty/ politics/ fossil fuels/ the Middle East) because as the next generation, you will have to find solutions to these problems." Man, that line used to piss me off. Why was it MY responsibility to clean up after someone else's mess?  Actually, it still kinda pisses me off. Don't worry kiddos I hold out hope for substantial contributions from my generation.  We are still fighting the good fight. However, the possibilities for my own future are no longer endless. I will not be the President of the United States, and I won't be curing any diseases.  Mostly because I don't want to be the President, and I am too lazy to devote my life to scientific research.  This is not a pity party, this is a just a commentary on my shifting reality. 

Yesterday, two icons from my childhood died. Neil Armstrong, and the voice of The Count from Sesame Street.  It made me think a lot about the importance of heroes and beloved characters in the shaping of the youth.  We learned invaluable lessons about discovery, curiosity and bravery in a world enamored with science.  We learned to have a passion for counting, and vampires.

I realize that children will still learn about Neil Armstrong, and Sesame Street is still on the air.  However, there is admittedly a difference between being able to experience a hero as a living person, and reading about some dead guy.  There is a difference between the voice and vision of an original, and someone who replaces a character. 

It is my fervent hope that the imagination and inspiration sparked by these now departed souls will find new life to lead our next generations into greatness. We sure do need them.